I felt the goodness of God in everything I see, inside me and outside. The lines between me and the other softened just enough to glimpse our unity. And in our unity, there can only be peace.
So beautiful written. I can see and feel every word you write. It moved me deeply, and helped me adjust my own perspective on living with chronic illness. Looking forward to hearing more from you.
Thank you. This came to me right as I and another chronic illness friends were both struggling to find prayers for our illnesses, and this hit just right.
I have PMDD as well, and so much of this resonated with me. I love seeing stories of God's grace in the lives of people who have struggled with similar issues. I have my own memories of God's faithfulness, but the more reminders I see, the more I know that He is active in the midst of the frustrations of my own difficulties. Thank you for sharing your heart with us. Just beautiful!
Thanks for reading, Kori! It’s amazing how comforting it can be just knowing one other person with a similar experience (like PMDD). I felt so isolated before discovering others who shared this part of my story. Have a beautiful day. 💛
I talk a little bit about my experiences having PMDD as a Christian in my book, though I don’t mention it by name (I wanted to avoid getting technical and focus just on the experience). Because of the severity of my symptoms and other compounding issues, we have chosen not to have children. At one point, we were involved in a toxically fundamentalist, dominionist church that did not understand mental health issues and believed it was a woman’s responsibility to God to procreate, and being falsely taught that something that is out of my control was tied to my salvation was deeply damaging.
It is not unbiblical to talk about how sin has marred women’s bodies. We see this in many ways—infertility, hormonal issues, breast and cervical cancer, the inability of many women to breastfeed, bipolar disorder (which women disproportionately deal with). Besides that, though, we have multiple models in scripture of women of God in a variety of situations whose faith, not their bodies, were their most beautiful and admirable trait. I so look forward to being in the New Jerusalem and enjoying women’s fellowship with Hannah, Naomi, Ruth, the woman with the issue of blood, the woman at the well, Eve, etc. so we can share our stories of the Messiah!
Bailey, your vulnerability and gift with words is so moving. While we haven’t really gotten a chance to spend time together yet, your writing has allowed me to get to know you in such a unique way. You are beautiful inside and out and you and your story inspire me. How you take everything you have been through - are still going through, and no matter what you always remain faithful. You are a light my friend🤍
As I ended reading this post I was surprised to find tears slowly rolling down my cheeks. I held my 6 month old Granddaughter at the time. Today was the first day caring for her as our daughter returned to work. Unable to comment then, I've returned tonight to re-read this post and have been as deeply touched if not more so as initially. For so many reason. 1. I felt like I was reading a reflection of my own heart and journey, despite the differing circumstances. The unsimilar/similarities in our journey's is striking to me and I honestly can say, it was like tangible healing for my soul as I read these words. I've made and saved a number of quotes that I plan to share on my socials. I just know so many others would experience deep inner healing balm as they read also. 2. Thank you for sharing about the night is normal. I have now added this to my 'reading pile'. 3. I felt such an encouragement from the words ' just because a dream ends doesn't mean it fails' especially the sense of it being a bridge to what is next. Ultimately, as someone new to Substack, reading your post has been a huge confirmation that this is the place for me this season. I feel overwhelmed with the opportunity to connect to others in this way, a way that captures my heart in some of the deepest places. Thank you so much for what you have lovingly shared. I am deeply grateful. I also saw on another note that you have recently interviewed Sarah Clarkson. I read 'Reclaiming Quiet' over Christmas. What a stunning read. I will look forward to finding and hearing this podcast. Thank you again. Abundant blessings.
This review blessed me deeply! I’m so glad the words met you in this gracious way. Thank you, Amanda. 💛 May God continue to care for you as you care for your new grand-little!
Bailey, there was one more thing that struck a healing cord with me deeply and has keep rippling… your disclosure of PMDD. 6 months ago (at age 46) I was diagnosed with type 2 bipolar and my Dr was investigating PMDD… I had never heard of it. It’s been a brutal but deeply restoring six months. Reading how you shared so humbly, was raw to read but again, for me personally, so very impacting.
This brought tears to my eyes Bailey - absolutely beautiful essay, reflecting your beautifully-lived life. Thank you for sharing this encouragement with me, which really touched my own aching heart that still carries much disappointment, but is also looking for the beauty all around me.
I’m so glad, Amy. Each of our stories is different, and none of us want false promises. But I do know that God doesn’t leave us in the ashes. He heals, renews, and restores in a thousand different ways that only he knows we need. I pray you feel loved and cared for today 💛
Thank you, Bailey. While my life circumstances aren’t anything like yours, my inner journey certainly is. Thank you for doing the emotional and physical work of sharing your story. It’s a solid meal of “soul food.”
Bailey, this is beautiful. You write about the weird grief of chronic illness so well, and I appreciate that. And the message is so powerful. I love this piece.
Thank you for writing this honest essay, Bailey. This was an especially beautiful insight: “I’ve learned to trace God’s faithful presence in the midst of my suffering from point to point, illuminating the cosmos of care that we live in as those who live and walk in his marvelous light.”
I felt the goodness of God in everything I see, inside me and outside. The lines between me and the other softened just enough to glimpse our unity. And in our unity, there can only be peace.
So beautiful written. I can see and feel every word you write. It moved me deeply, and helped me adjust my own perspective on living with chronic illness. Looking forward to hearing more from you.
Thank you, Debi! That’s such an honor.
This was so good for me, from working through delayed dreams to also processing health issues. Thank you!!
Thank you. This came to me right as I and another chronic illness friends were both struggling to find prayers for our illnesses, and this hit just right.
I have PMDD as well, and so much of this resonated with me. I love seeing stories of God's grace in the lives of people who have struggled with similar issues. I have my own memories of God's faithfulness, but the more reminders I see, the more I know that He is active in the midst of the frustrations of my own difficulties. Thank you for sharing your heart with us. Just beautiful!
Thanks for reading, Kori! It’s amazing how comforting it can be just knowing one other person with a similar experience (like PMDD). I felt so isolated before discovering others who shared this part of my story. Have a beautiful day. 💛
I talk a little bit about my experiences having PMDD as a Christian in my book, though I don’t mention it by name (I wanted to avoid getting technical and focus just on the experience). Because of the severity of my symptoms and other compounding issues, we have chosen not to have children. At one point, we were involved in a toxically fundamentalist, dominionist church that did not understand mental health issues and believed it was a woman’s responsibility to God to procreate, and being falsely taught that something that is out of my control was tied to my salvation was deeply damaging.
It is not unbiblical to talk about how sin has marred women’s bodies. We see this in many ways—infertility, hormonal issues, breast and cervical cancer, the inability of many women to breastfeed, bipolar disorder (which women disproportionately deal with). Besides that, though, we have multiple models in scripture of women of God in a variety of situations whose faith, not their bodies, were their most beautiful and admirable trait. I so look forward to being in the New Jerusalem and enjoying women’s fellowship with Hannah, Naomi, Ruth, the woman with the issue of blood, the woman at the well, Eve, etc. so we can share our stories of the Messiah!
Bailey, your vulnerability and gift with words is so moving. While we haven’t really gotten a chance to spend time together yet, your writing has allowed me to get to know you in such a unique way. You are beautiful inside and out and you and your story inspire me. How you take everything you have been through - are still going through, and no matter what you always remain faithful. You are a light my friend🤍
As I ended reading this post I was surprised to find tears slowly rolling down my cheeks. I held my 6 month old Granddaughter at the time. Today was the first day caring for her as our daughter returned to work. Unable to comment then, I've returned tonight to re-read this post and have been as deeply touched if not more so as initially. For so many reason. 1. I felt like I was reading a reflection of my own heart and journey, despite the differing circumstances. The unsimilar/similarities in our journey's is striking to me and I honestly can say, it was like tangible healing for my soul as I read these words. I've made and saved a number of quotes that I plan to share on my socials. I just know so many others would experience deep inner healing balm as they read also. 2. Thank you for sharing about the night is normal. I have now added this to my 'reading pile'. 3. I felt such an encouragement from the words ' just because a dream ends doesn't mean it fails' especially the sense of it being a bridge to what is next. Ultimately, as someone new to Substack, reading your post has been a huge confirmation that this is the place for me this season. I feel overwhelmed with the opportunity to connect to others in this way, a way that captures my heart in some of the deepest places. Thank you so much for what you have lovingly shared. I am deeply grateful. I also saw on another note that you have recently interviewed Sarah Clarkson. I read 'Reclaiming Quiet' over Christmas. What a stunning read. I will look forward to finding and hearing this podcast. Thank you again. Abundant blessings.
This review blessed me deeply! I’m so glad the words met you in this gracious way. Thank you, Amanda. 💛 May God continue to care for you as you care for your new grand-little!
Bailey, there was one more thing that struck a healing cord with me deeply and has keep rippling… your disclosure of PMDD. 6 months ago (at age 46) I was diagnosed with type 2 bipolar and my Dr was investigating PMDD… I had never heard of it. It’s been a brutal but deeply restoring six months. Reading how you shared so humbly, was raw to read but again, for me personally, so very impacting.
This brought tears to my eyes Bailey - absolutely beautiful essay, reflecting your beautifully-lived life. Thank you for sharing this encouragement with me, which really touched my own aching heart that still carries much disappointment, but is also looking for the beauty all around me.
Thank you! That hopeful expectation is so evident in your writing and the way you reveal yourself online.
I heard my journey in every detail of this (until we reached noah!). Thank you for putting words to "the ache of unmet longing".
I’m so glad, Amy. Each of our stories is different, and none of us want false promises. But I do know that God doesn’t leave us in the ashes. He heals, renews, and restores in a thousand different ways that only he knows we need. I pray you feel loved and cared for today 💛
Thank you, Bailey. While my life circumstances aren’t anything like yours, my inner journey certainly is. Thank you for doing the emotional and physical work of sharing your story. It’s a solid meal of “soul food.”
Bailey, this is beautiful. You write about the weird grief of chronic illness so well, and I appreciate that. And the message is so powerful. I love this piece.
Thank you for writing this honest essay, Bailey. This was an especially beautiful insight: “I’ve learned to trace God’s faithful presence in the midst of my suffering from point to point, illuminating the cosmos of care that we live in as those who live and walk in his marvelous light.”