Imagining my favorite third place coffee shop (Americano lounge!) in Nashville and mentally planning to go there asap. Poignant and well-written, we need more of this!
Well put! One of my favorite things about my church is how everyone hangs around after the formal worship is over. It's almost as if the third space you mention — where we can finally meet with God — spills out, overabundantly, into the lives of the people and informs their activities and conversation. The "third space" ethos can then be taken into the first and second spaces, cultivating a culture of love and depth and connectedness.
Won't be able to meet in NYC but I wish you all a good time, and I hope eventually one of these Inkwell gatherings will make its way into Omaha, Nebraska!
Really interesting idea -- and accurate, from what I can tell. I think it's comparable to the experience of reading great fiction -- you spend time in a different world, and you eventually return, but with new eyes to see.
This line was INCREDIBLE: "Have you sat among a strange yet sublime combination of midnight truckers, wits-end strungouts, and broke college students at varying levels of sobriety and observed that—between the hours of midnight and 5 a.m., this is not, in fact, a Waffle House, but a Waffle *Home?*" Funny AND deep—so good, Coby. I have felt a similar mysterious holiness to what you're getting at here with the act of loitering...what makes the act of standing around in a parking lot or a lobby or a driveway that feels like it facilitates such rich conversation, laughter, and lightning-strike ideas? I think those also act as a sort of third place, too. Thanks for taking the time to write such a thoughtful and engaging piece—we need conversations like these as we all continue to care about building communities that honor Christ, encourage creativity, and bring humanity back to an often inhumane world.
Wonderful piece! I’ve recently become a member at a coworking space in Nashville (which has several locations all across the southeast) called Switchyards. The vibe is much homier and more aesthetically inviting than most of the coworking spaces I’d ever seen before; books, plants, comfy couches, eccentric and eclectic vintage decor, chillhop music, warm lighting, unlimited tea and coffee. Switchyards specifically locates their spaces in particular neighborhoods, hoping to attract people who live in that neighborhood and can actually walk there and maybe even get to know each other. It’s open 24/7, and you’re encouraged to bring guests. There’s a sadness to the fact that there is still a paywall to access such a space (though it gets busy enough currently and I can only imagine if would be overwhelmed with people otherwise) but either way I’ve viewed it as a very elegant attempt at a third space. Many people come there for work outside the house, but I also bring friends there just to play games or grab free coffee in the morning. I suppose in some ways this is what libraries could be, though so many of them don’t seem to have the atmosphere for it. I wonder if that could be a way libraries might eventually change with the times: cultivating an atmosphere that makes people want to gather, rather than simply silence. The libraries near me are great too, though!
Thanks for sharing, Houston. I really like the idea of trying to locate the place within walkable distance of your clientele -- to me, this kind of compounds the effect we are going for. Bring back third spaces and front porches and neighborhood walks!
I loved this and think a lot about third spaces actually. I find both these to be true: third spaces give us that necessary in between space to connect, create, and let down our hair a little. But I also find myself craving to be invited inside someone’s home even more these days—especially since the pandemic. I think people are out of practice. For years, I’ve dreamed of helping form a restorative retreat center which has now evolved into some sort of third space for my local community. Our sleepy suburban area is sorely lacking in these (even Starbucks closes at 7pm!!). But I think my favorite spaces are parks. Truly those “places on the corner.” There’s just something about being outside where you are free to move about that helps you get to know someone more deeply. Anyway, thanks for these insights!
I was just describing to someone that friendships are hard to form when they rely on conscious, individual effort for each individual hangout session. Most of the time people just don’t have that stamina. Friendship is most easily cultivated when we setup regular arrangements to encounter each other. This regular arrangement (e.g. bowling league, game nights) oils the gears of friendship, making it easier to cultivate even when we don’t have the energy to reach out via text to each individual to try and put something together in the moment. I think third spaces fit nicely within this thought, because it creates a kind of regular gathering ground in which we put very little cognitive effort to show up, and yet the opportunities it affords on a semi-regular basis enable all kinds of fun and exciting outcomes
Right on -- and dovetails perfectly with Lewis's framework. I think it's harder (or at least more forced) for friendship to develop when it feels face-to-face rather than shoulder-to-shoulder. Bowling, walking, going for a drive, talking about a book -- these things provide a secret sauce that multiplies our efforts toward communing with one another.
I’m thinking of those thin third places—the field behind my elementary school where I played make-believe with my friend Laura, the nature trail we took our kids to when they were young, numerous trails in CO, the breakfast joints we rotate on Saturday mornings with each child, the 5+ mile walking path around the community center.
Thank you for the thoughts this morning. It was a lovely read and sent my thoughts higher. Also, I found it funny that you pointed out Onyx Coffee Lab in NWA. I grew up in Bentonville. My third places there predate Onyx. One was the Bentonville Public Library when it was housed in the Massey Building downtown—what a perfect building for a library. It’s a shame they moved it.
I thoroughly enjoyed this article. Besides church, I'm not too good at seeking out those third places myself. In fact, I am reading this, trying to decide whether I go out tonight for the opening of an exhibition featuring three of my photographs or I just say home, where it's comfy and warm (I'm in Australia, where it's winter). And my usual inclination is to just stay home. Going out not only requires energy, but often means standing on the outskirts watching other people socialise. This article made me think about the potential for something really beautiful to occur when two people meet. It made me see the value in (gulp) socialising. And despite my natural inclination not to socialise, I truly wish I was closer to NYC because your gathering sounds wonderful!
My wife recently retired from her nanny work, she loved doing babies 6 months to 3 years old, & was so very good @ it. Now, her "third space development" is off the charts: 2 coffee groups, 2 bridge clubs, 1/wk volunteer work, & private coffees w/ the FAVs she has met. The transition has restored & rejuvenated her, & it's been a delight to behold! Thanks Coby, your essay provided such clarity to my loving observations of her involvements!
What a lovely, whimsical piece! I felt encouraged and challenged to keep showing up at the third spaces of my area. I live in the fairly transient “gateway cities” of Orange County, CA, and we almost have too many third spaces! With a surplus of coffee shops and other haunts to explore, one rarely sees the same people twice. It seems like it’s necessary to build anchored third spaces that can serve as coral reefs between us and the ocean.
Thanks, Matthew! I live in Malibu and I think we have the opposite problem -- a community that leans isolationist with a surprisingly low number of third spaces. Lmk if you're ever up this direction!
Imagining my favorite third place coffee shop (Americano lounge!) in Nashville and mentally planning to go there asap. Poignant and well-written, we need more of this!
Thank you, Leighton! Writing this down for my next Nashville trip 🤧
Well put! One of my favorite things about my church is how everyone hangs around after the formal worship is over. It's almost as if the third space you mention — where we can finally meet with God — spills out, overabundantly, into the lives of the people and informs their activities and conversation. The "third space" ethos can then be taken into the first and second spaces, cultivating a culture of love and depth and connectedness.
Won't be able to meet in NYC but I wish you all a good time, and I hope eventually one of these Inkwell gatherings will make its way into Omaha, Nebraska!
Really interesting idea -- and accurate, from what I can tell. I think it's comparable to the experience of reading great fiction -- you spend time in a different world, and you eventually return, but with new eyes to see.
This line was INCREDIBLE: "Have you sat among a strange yet sublime combination of midnight truckers, wits-end strungouts, and broke college students at varying levels of sobriety and observed that—between the hours of midnight and 5 a.m., this is not, in fact, a Waffle House, but a Waffle *Home?*" Funny AND deep—so good, Coby. I have felt a similar mysterious holiness to what you're getting at here with the act of loitering...what makes the act of standing around in a parking lot or a lobby or a driveway that feels like it facilitates such rich conversation, laughter, and lightning-strike ideas? I think those also act as a sort of third place, too. Thanks for taking the time to write such a thoughtful and engaging piece—we need conversations like these as we all continue to care about building communities that honor Christ, encourage creativity, and bring humanity back to an often inhumane world.
Thanks so much, Grace! There is truly nothing like a Waffle House late at night. Absolute thin place.
Wonderful piece! I’ve recently become a member at a coworking space in Nashville (which has several locations all across the southeast) called Switchyards. The vibe is much homier and more aesthetically inviting than most of the coworking spaces I’d ever seen before; books, plants, comfy couches, eccentric and eclectic vintage decor, chillhop music, warm lighting, unlimited tea and coffee. Switchyards specifically locates their spaces in particular neighborhoods, hoping to attract people who live in that neighborhood and can actually walk there and maybe even get to know each other. It’s open 24/7, and you’re encouraged to bring guests. There’s a sadness to the fact that there is still a paywall to access such a space (though it gets busy enough currently and I can only imagine if would be overwhelmed with people otherwise) but either way I’ve viewed it as a very elegant attempt at a third space. Many people come there for work outside the house, but I also bring friends there just to play games or grab free coffee in the morning. I suppose in some ways this is what libraries could be, though so many of them don’t seem to have the atmosphere for it. I wonder if that could be a way libraries might eventually change with the times: cultivating an atmosphere that makes people want to gather, rather than simply silence. The libraries near me are great too, though!
Thanks for sharing, Houston. I really like the idea of trying to locate the place within walkable distance of your clientele -- to me, this kind of compounds the effect we are going for. Bring back third spaces and front porches and neighborhood walks!
I loved this and think a lot about third spaces actually. I find both these to be true: third spaces give us that necessary in between space to connect, create, and let down our hair a little. But I also find myself craving to be invited inside someone’s home even more these days—especially since the pandemic. I think people are out of practice. For years, I’ve dreamed of helping form a restorative retreat center which has now evolved into some sort of third space for my local community. Our sleepy suburban area is sorely lacking in these (even Starbucks closes at 7pm!!). But I think my favorite spaces are parks. Truly those “places on the corner.” There’s just something about being outside where you are free to move about that helps you get to know someone more deeply. Anyway, thanks for these insights!
I was just describing to someone that friendships are hard to form when they rely on conscious, individual effort for each individual hangout session. Most of the time people just don’t have that stamina. Friendship is most easily cultivated when we setup regular arrangements to encounter each other. This regular arrangement (e.g. bowling league, game nights) oils the gears of friendship, making it easier to cultivate even when we don’t have the energy to reach out via text to each individual to try and put something together in the moment. I think third spaces fit nicely within this thought, because it creates a kind of regular gathering ground in which we put very little cognitive effort to show up, and yet the opportunities it affords on a semi-regular basis enable all kinds of fun and exciting outcomes
Right on -- and dovetails perfectly with Lewis's framework. I think it's harder (or at least more forced) for friendship to develop when it feels face-to-face rather than shoulder-to-shoulder. Bowling, walking, going for a drive, talking about a book -- these things provide a secret sauce that multiplies our efforts toward communing with one another.
I’m thinking of those thin third places—the field behind my elementary school where I played make-believe with my friend Laura, the nature trail we took our kids to when they were young, numerous trails in CO, the breakfast joints we rotate on Saturday mornings with each child, the 5+ mile walking path around the community center.
Thank you for the thoughts this morning. It was a lovely read and sent my thoughts higher. Also, I found it funny that you pointed out Onyx Coffee Lab in NWA. I grew up in Bentonville. My third places there predate Onyx. One was the Bentonville Public Library when it was housed in the Massey Building downtown—what a perfect building for a library. It’s a shame they moved it.
Thanks so much, Amanda! Northwest Arkansas is so great -- and home to SEVERAL of my favorite third spaces.
References from Seinfeld, Chesterton, Lewis, Berry, Tolkien, and more in one essay? Now you're just showing off. Wonderful writing as always!
Only thing left on the floor was a chance at a Springsteen reference. . .
I thoroughly enjoyed this article. Besides church, I'm not too good at seeking out those third places myself. In fact, I am reading this, trying to decide whether I go out tonight for the opening of an exhibition featuring three of my photographs or I just say home, where it's comfy and warm (I'm in Australia, where it's winter). And my usual inclination is to just stay home. Going out not only requires energy, but often means standing on the outskirts watching other people socialise. This article made me think about the potential for something really beautiful to occur when two people meet. It made me see the value in (gulp) socialising. And despite my natural inclination not to socialise, I truly wish I was closer to NYC because your gathering sounds wonderful!
My wife recently retired from her nanny work, she loved doing babies 6 months to 3 years old, & was so very good @ it. Now, her "third space development" is off the charts: 2 coffee groups, 2 bridge clubs, 1/wk volunteer work, & private coffees w/ the FAVs she has met. The transition has restored & rejuvenated her, & it's been a delight to behold! Thanks Coby, your essay provided such clarity to my loving observations of her involvements!
This is so encouraging to hear, Steve. Thanks for sharing. The revival has begun!
This was really good!
What a lovely, whimsical piece! I felt encouraged and challenged to keep showing up at the third spaces of my area. I live in the fairly transient “gateway cities” of Orange County, CA, and we almost have too many third spaces! With a surplus of coffee shops and other haunts to explore, one rarely sees the same people twice. It seems like it’s necessary to build anchored third spaces that can serve as coral reefs between us and the ocean.
Thanks, Matthew! I live in Malibu and I think we have the opposite problem -- a community that leans isolationist with a surprisingly low number of third spaces. Lmk if you're ever up this direction!
Love this
Brilliant piece
Thanks for taking the time to read it, John!
Stellar
Thank you!
beautifully described to create hunger for same. thank you.
Thanks for taking the time to consider it!